I’m going to go ahead and be honest and say these past few weeks post spring break have been rough. Things that I assumed were going to make my year, and the small things too, nose-dived, and the decline was extremely rapid. Do you ever have those moments where you can see the future brightly and clearly and all the sudden the vision just explodes into a bunch of fragments? Excuse my dramatics, but thatâ€™s what I’ve felt like in the past few weeks.
There were moments where time seemed to stand still, and I would just be sitting in my living room, staring at the ceiling. A feeling of nonsensical anger and sadness and confusion would just sit in my stomach, and I didnâ€™t know whether I should cry or shout. Right when it seems like things were looking up, somehow, they ended up plummeting again.
Iâ€™m usually a very optimistic person. Iâ€™m the girl with the smile in the morning and an energizer bunny throughout the day no matter how many hours of sleep I have the night before. But lately, Iâ€™ve kind of viewed the world through some negative lens. Iâ€™ve come to realize how awful and poisonous negativity can be. It seeps into your nerves and muscles and saturates your thoughts. Itâ€™s venomous â€“ distorting how you choose to live each day and view other people.
So in the car after hearing another piece of bad news, my roommate and I looked at each other and realized how focused we have been on the wrongs, and how itâ€™s affecting our day to day living and expressions.
The day was slightly breezy with lazy sunshine. A coolness had seeped into the weatherâ€™s arms, banishing the heat that had been saturating the air in the past week. The air was crisp and the leaves were beginning to blossom with green. My roommate and I took a sigh and changed our perspective. Yes things seemed to suck now, but look at what we have. A loving family, the greatest best friends, the most amazing group of supportive friends scattered across the states, a wonderful med school family, and an education.
Perspective. The word has come to take on quite a significant meaning for many of us quite recently.
So I choose to focus on the Little Things. The list of things gathered from my sporadic lists as a child and online lists and my own sweet memories. Here are some I can apply to my life recently:
-Letting your hair down after itâ€™s been tied up all day
-Changing into sweatpants
-The moment you realize your hiccups are gone
-Achieving the perfect milk to cereal ratio
-When close friends visit you
-Skype/facetime between friends
-Finally trying a restaurant from Yelp youâ€™ve been wanting to try
Because while I don’t exactly see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, I just have to believe there is one. And these little things will keep me going.